The United States is known as "the land of the free." But honestly, "the land of the weirdly named" might be more accurate. Across the 50 states, more than anywhere else in the world, cities and townships have some of the strangest names you'll find. From monikers that tell you where, exactly, you'll be spending all of eternity (it's not pleasant…) to locales inspired by Saint Nick, these weird town names are sure to leave you in stitches.
A triumphant name if followed by "high." A tragic one if followed by "low."
Alaska may be beautiful, but we hear this town is always telling visitors to beat it.
C'mon, Arizona, get some self-esteem. This cool town name suggests that nothing much is taking place in this corner of Arizona.
We're guessing tourism isn't exactly booming in this unappetizingly-named town.
We're all about omega-3s, but this is taking things a bit far. Without a doubt, this proves to be one of the most creative weird town names.
The perfect town to escape to when you don't want your mom, significant other, or boss to know where you've been but aren't a good liar.
Let's hope Insuranceville and Lawyerville are within driving distance.
Not a great town for dating, or so we can deduce from one of the better cool town names on the list.
Is anyone imagining a town-sized pillow fort? Knowing Florida, it's probably a fort full of alligators, though.
Wait until the nap hotel industry hears about this place.
We're sure it's beautiful, but rumor has it this town, with one of the less cryptic funny town names on the list, is hot as blazes.
No offense to Idaho, but this seems like a downgrade from the North Pole.
This weird town name sounds like one of those Instagram body trends that lands teenagers in the hospital.
Babies only.
If you're happy and you know it, move here.
The Switzerland of Kansas.
I mean, we always knew there was a chance.
Every librarian's dream vacation destination.
There's a place called Friendship in a state that calls itself Vacationland? And we were just about to buy that house in Hell for Certain. It just goes to show that weird town names are perhaps rooted in some basis of truth.
Probably not a great place to live if you're trying to cut your car insurance payments.
We never imagined the underworld would be so far north.
Did they mean "dove"?
We're a little red in the face for learning about this Minnesota town so late.
We've got our minds on this Mississippi town and this Mississippi town on our minds.
Lollipop and ice cream sales here are through the roof, or so we hear.
This state, containing one of the few truly cool town names, sounds equal parts dangerous and adorable.
We need it, want it, and gotta have it.
Well, at least he got something out of his relationship with Kourtney Kardashian—one of the few truly funny town names.
The part of the room with the bed/a town in New Hampshire.
We like this town and we cannot lie.
This town got so excited about the prospect of having the radio show of the same name aired from here that the town changed its name to make it happen.
This town's name feels like a Godfather reference, but it actually refers to the not-any-less-creepy horse skulls found in this location.
This icky name actually refers to the boogeymen legend locals would tell to keep tourists out.
A terrible town to wear a trench coat in.
This funny town name doesn't refer to fighting but is actually thought to be a reference to the strength of the local moonshine.
Apparently, Slapout's unusual name comes from the local store having low inventory, or being "slap out" of whatever customers wanted.
This Oregon town (and one of the truly cool town names) is named after a river that—you guessed it—zigzags through the land.
Dam, that's an unusual name.
Home of the famous Little NWA.
If this South Carolina town was going for something confidence-inspiring, they may have just missed the mark.
We're guessing business is booming?
If you're looking for the opposite of the Big Easy, we may have found it with this funny town name.
Yet another town named for a radio show, this town took the name of the store on Lum and Abner, which ran from 1931 to 1954.
A town that captured the United States' two greatest passions: patriotism and snacks.
But is it gluten-free?
This is what happens when you let people name towns after a breakup.
With a population of just about 1,000, we're guessing this Washington town isn't the all-night rave the name makes it out to be.
"Just a dash" and "smidge" were already taken.
Donna Summer's ghost is said to roam the streets of this town, looking for someone to take her up on that last dance.
We're going to go ahead and guess that Recluse residents aren't exactly the partying type.
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